... of darkness

"You are who you are!"

- Le'Stat, "Interview with a Vampire"


I've been lying a lot lately. And I hate myself for it. It's a problem when you have vowed to be true to yourself (or at least try your hardest to be) and it fails one way or another.

Not only that, you lose youself. You do things you shouldn't; and vice versa. Lies begets lies; the chain begins. As darkness swallows, you find that a metamorphosis has began. You feel thick viscousity of the air you breathe, your heart clamps in discomfort, you hands trembles in anger. (And yes, you have to respect those who can pretend to be alright when they're really sad. It's really hard.) Unfortunately, some senses stay sharp...

When you lose your ability to smile at that moment, your friends will know. That's where the darkness spread and affects them. Your senses are still sharp at this point. This plummets you to a lower level, for your guilt of making your friends feel what you are feeling feeds the darkness.

Apparently, the attempt to keep yourself to a low profile doesn't work sometimes. Cutting off the spread of darkness isn't easy, huh?

My point in all these - no more lies. Don't feed the darkness. That is the only way to stay 'yourself', and the truth to happiness. (This is of utmost importance for those who believe in dreams, but that's another matter for another time.)

Oh, white lies are ok. Yeah. Darkness is black. White lies are white. (I noe I noe: WTH?!)