bob the cockroach

(Sing along to Dick Lee's "Fried Rice Paradise")
For Bob the Cockroach!

I know a pal whose name was Bob.
He told me, he told me
That one day he will make it big.
Crawled around in AS3,
Tried its luck in M.c.D,
Found a corner sparkling clean and
Thought he found a place to live in,
But other roaches just laughed.
Poor guy didn't know what to do.

Brown roaches to diseased ones,
They told him, they told him
That he should just conform with them.
Eating scraps from rubbish bags,
Spread diseases and all that crap.
But Bob just got fed up then he
Took a knife to murder all them.
Looked around but there's no one.
Chopped their bodies into pieces few.
So what did he do?
He opened

Fried Lice Paradise!
Nasi Roaches very nice!
Meat's a "secret recipe",
99 varieties!
Fried Lice Paradise!
"Crunchy"'s how it's been described,
Booked a table? Very wise!
That is what I would do...
To jump the queue!

Two years past and very fast,
He told me, he told me
He had to go a little more.
Scrouged around in Chinatown,
Won't believe what he found:
The skin of worms, the eyes of flies,
And even all the spider legs.
Attracted all the vultures,
And even fish dissectors too.
Well, what did they do?
They just loved...

Fried Lice Paradise!
Nasi Roaches very nice!
Meat's a "secret recipe",
99 varieties!
Fried Lice Paradise!
"Chalky"'s how it's been described,
Booked a table? Very wise!
That is what I would do...

Wo-o-wo-o-Chow Bob Baby...
Ooo, Chow Bob Baby...
You're my Chow Bob Baby!
Red, Hot Chow Bob Baby! Baby!
You make oh-me-e crazy!
Mantis... tastes like piss.
And black widow's "OH NO!"... ANYWAY,
Oh what, oh yeah, what else can I say?
I like my Chow Roa-ches anyday!

Maybe you have eating blues,
I tell you, I tell you
That there's a place for you to try.
Where the feelers are plucked out,
Leaving only heart and gout.
But believe me when I tell you the best food beneath the sun:
Chow Roaches with extra legs...
Bobby's waiting there for you!
So what should you do?
Head down to...

Fried Lice Paradise!
Nasi Roaches very nice!
Meat's a "secret recipe",
99 varieties!
Fried Lice Paradise!
"Chicken"'s how some has described,
Booked a table? Very wise!
That is what I would do...

Fried Lice Paradise!
Nasi Roaches very nice!
Meat's a "secret recipe",
99 varieties!
Fried Lice Paradise!
Sambal roaches', lowest price!
Booked a table? Very wise!
That is what I would do...
If I were you!

- Henry Rogers