life of a japanese emperor

(Sing along to Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive")
(and try to imagine the Emperor dancing John Travolta style, with his servants doing backup dancing with featherdusters and tea pots...)

At first I was afraid,
I was petrified.
Kept thinking I could never live
With that sword by your side.
And then you killed the rest,
And next you left me here alive.
Ieyasu...
Wonder if you're a bane or a boon.

And now you're back
From Osaka,
With Hideyoshi's head and even
His wife tied down to your bed.
I should have set a marriage law...
I should have set monogamy...
But if I really did,
Dear God, what will happen to me?!

Go on now, walk out the door.
You are Shogun now,
Don't ask for gay marriages anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?
You think I'd crumble?
You think I'd lay down for thy...?
Oh no, not I!
I will survive!
As long as I know how to "做！"
I know I will stay alive!
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give,
And I'll survive,
I will survive!

It took all my wives I had
Not to fall apart.
Kept trying hard to mend
The pieces of my broken heart.
And I spent oh so many nights
With Hideyoshi's son,
And some of the mornings
With Hideyoshi's buns.
Now you see me
Somebody new!
I'm not that chained up little person
Still in love with you.
And so you felt like dropping in
And just expect me to be free.
Now I'm saving all my loving
For your dogs that are loving me.
(hey hey hey, stop rubbing against me till the song's over, dammit!)

I will survive!
As long as I know how to "干！"
I know I will stay alive!
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give,
And I'll survive,
I will survive!

- Henry Rogers