lies

I lied.
I hate myself.

- Henry Rogers

... of moments

BBQ on Saturday was fun and rewarding. It made me realise once more something I've experienced time and again, but never put into words.

It isn't about how much work we put in.
It isn't about how much we actually got to eat at the BBQ.

The moment calmness flows over you, you feel as though you are a camera panning on the whole scene. People talking in joy, engaging in conversations without a care of their tribulations outside the house. Satisfaction of a good meal. Smiles of a wonderful night. All fatigue fades. Not a drop of sweat meaningless.

Can you not help but let a sigh of relief that everything has gone well?
Can you not help but feel happy that your friends are happy?

What moments do we live for? That we should feel a sense of happiness, and that it'll remain to make our lives of something? I have found one such moment.

I don't need to sing at karaokes! Watching you people sing makes me happy!
I don't like soccer, but that doesn't mean spending time watching with the company of you guys is bad!

Just don't blame me for being too engrossed to take photos of these moments. :p

rated pg -- chickens

[RATED PG - PURE GARBAGE]

A wierd interview over MSN with Manish the Duck, and his study on his eternal rival, Vincent the Chicken.

Roger: So what do you think you can provide to my blog?

Manish: Ah... the theory of Chickeninity... law of Chickenomatics... and of course the sacred religion, Chickenism. *cluOOOMMMM* *cluOOOMMM* *cluOOOMMM* (meditates)

R: What in the world?!

M: im trin' to reach Chick-irvana *cluOOOMMM*

R: So how do you actually attain Chick-irvana?

M: Early Chickenism scholars claim that countin ur chicken feathers will get u ter... ..but the modern chicken scholar(vincent) claims tat u actually have to peck urself 367 times and keep sayin' *cluOOOMMM*

R: Who is this Chicken scholar?

M: someguy... conchicuos i tink..

R: Then you leh? You know so much?

M: im a history expert. i specialise in tis kind of... um.. exotic religions.

R: And you actually practice it?!

M: of corse NOT!! i practise ruletheworldism. it mainly focuses on the art of eatin' the chicken in the proper way..

R: Eatin chicken = rule the world?

M: hey... its the 1st step ok? even the karate kid had to wash walls 1st..

R: So you still at first step lah?

M: 2nd actually. 1st was it kill the chicken the proper way. kill it by beatin it up. MERCILESSLY!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

(The interview ended by the duck trying to steal my MSN password. WTH?!)

... of poems

!! SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT WATCHED "DEAD POET'S SOCIETY"

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless -- of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here -- that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.

That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"

- John Keating (played by Robin Williams in "Dead Poet's Society")

For those who actually finished the whole thing, I applaud you on Keating's behalf. Indeed, what will your verse be when the time comes...

And no! I did not begin writing poem because it's cute! It's the fundamentals of what I find fun in songs - the rhyme. We all write because we feel passionate about something, be it the big stuff like questions of our human lives, to the small stuff like making sushi. I did mine through poems that 'sound nice'. Simple and clean.

And no leh, somehow it doesn't help pick up girls. :/ You're WRONG, O captain, my captain.

Back to the issue, for I believe that poems are a great way to express ourselves. It doesn't need to be as great Shakey's "Romeo and Juliet". The poems we write are no less real than 'masterpieces'. We are THE masterpieces. Even the simplest of lines, and I strongly believe, makes the world and the people real. Remember the bohemain spirit of truth, beauty, and above all things, love.

So I pity myself for believing I wasn't good enough for literature. "You're not good enough." my teachers would say. Bah! Now I'm free, and more free with expression. Literature is meaningless. We, the human race, do.

diamond bright

Hastily named, the child of creed.
In waking world, we're truly maimed;
Sleeping dreams where men are free.
Crimson butterflies shall come to claim.

Juxtapose sweet surreality
Before these claws cut our candlelight.
What romance! Of love! Of dreams!
We, indeed, the diamond bright.

- Henry Rogers

"eloise to abelard"

How happy is the
Blameless vestal's lot!

The world forgetting,
By the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the
Spotless mind!

Each pray'r accepted, each
Wish resign'd.

- "Eloise and Abelard", Alexander Pope

Full poem here

okane-kami man

(Sing along to "Oogie Boogie's Song" from 'The Nightmare Before Christmas')
For JSS Exco!

[Mysterious Voice]
Well well well,
What have we here?
Bank Accounts, huh?
Oo! I'm realy scared!
So you're the money everyone's talking about.
Hahaha...

You're joking, you're joking,
I can't believe my eyes!
This isn't what I was told,
This can't be the right pie!
He's little, (but enough),
But that's explainable -
The ex-exco must have taken
For dinners they have burnt.

When Mr Okane-kami says
There's trouble close at hand,
You better pay attention now,
Cause I'm the Money Man.
And if you aren't shaking,
Then's something very wrong,
Cause I'm roleplaying a creature
Called Embezzel-mon.

Wo-oh... Wo-oh...
Ohh... Ohh...
I'm Okane-kami Man!

Well if I'm feeling itchy,
And there're many here tonight,
I might just start collecting notes,
Without telling you why.
And don't you know the one thing,
As heinous as it sounds,
At times there's a great increase
In my own accounts.

Wo-oh... Wo-oh...
Ohh... Ohh...
Yeah... I'm Okane-kami Man!

[ACCOUNT BOOK]
Release me now
Or you must face the dire consequences.
The excos are expecting me,
So please! Come, to your senses!

[OKANE-KAMI]
Hah! You're joking, You're joking!
I can't believe my ears!
I'm never gonna give you up,
You'll feed me full for years!
It's evil, I'm know that,
But I do not care that much.
And now with your permission,
I'm going to do my stuff.

[ACCOUNT BOOK]
Well, what are you going to do?

[OKANE-KAMI]
Transferring as much as I can.

(jazz interlude)

[OKANE-KAMI]
Ooooh....
The beeps of bank transfers
To me is music in the air!
I'll drain you out, till you're dry!
I'll leave you really bare!
What excitement, I must confess,
When money's in my bank.
And look at all the excos' eyes,
How they really sank.

[ACCOUNT BOOK]
Release me fast or Rae will come to
Dissect you into Sushi slice!

[OKANE-KAMI]
Oh brother, you're something,
You put me in a spin!
And Rae has only
A goldfish to begin.
It's hopeless. You're empty.
You'll never get it back.
Cause I'm Mr Okane-kami,
And you ain't going nowhere.

- Henry Rogers

jmc!

(Sing along to Bon Jovi's 'It's My Life')
For JSS Exco/JMC!

This ain't a song for the K-pop lovers.
No silent bray for the K-box croakers.
I ain't staying quiet when we're in the crowd,
Gripping tight the mic when the music comes up.

J-M-C!
It's now or never!
Excos do not live forever.
I just wanna sing while I'm alive.
J-M-C!
My head is doing poem fillers,
Raemarie's a goldfish killer.
I just wanna sing while I'm alive.
J-M-C!

This is for the ones who stood their ground.
For nicknames and jokes, we never backed down.
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake.
You'll be getting more nicks, you'll never have a break.

J-M-C!
Please let her change name lah!
Tell me why it's Rogerina?!
I just wanna sing while I'm alive.
J-M-C!
Even though I think it's quite wrong,
It's better than being "Bandung".
I just wanna sing while I'm alive.
Uso ja nai...

Better stand tall when Ryu's calling us out,
"Hail Hilter!" or gossips get around...

J-M-C!
His nicknames I don't care,
Why does Steve wear pink underwears?!
I dun wanna see while I'm alive...
Ai-yai-yai...
And even though I don't have girlfriends,
Nic says I can borrow just ten.
Man, it's good to live while he's alive!

J-M-C!
You girls stay away!
Or my laptop will be in two plates...
If it does, you won't be alive.
Can't you see?
I'll never get bored in JMC,
Singing high and going off-key,
I just wanna sing while I'm alive.

J-M-C!


- Henry Rogers

in the end it'll be rogerina

(Sing slong to 'Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Words')
For Shuying!

What I got to do to say I'm sorry...
What I got to do to take it back...
If I didn't had so many nicknames,
Then being "Roger" won't be that bad.

Wouldn't matter if we were at Mac,
Or even eating at the sushi bar.
Eventually they'd still give you nicknames.
In the end it'll be Rogerina.

It's sad... so sad!
It's a sad, sad situation.
And it's getting more and more absurd.
It's sad... SO SAD!
Why can't we talk it over,
Oh it seems to me,
That petitions to change doesn't work.

We came up with a lot of other nicknames,
But in the end they still went with that.
Even though there were those that were cool,
This just proves the rest were just crap.

It's sad... so sad!
It's a sad, sad situation.
And I get more and more berserk.
It's sad... SO SAD!
Why can't we start it over,
But it seems to me,
That other nicks could be a lot worse.

Wouldn't matter if you are against it,
Or even if I make a fuss of it.
Eventually they'd still give you nicknames.
Eventually it'll be...
Eventually it'll be...
In the end it'll be Rogerina.

- Henry Rogers

band of brothers

From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition.

- 'Henry IV', Shakespeare

... or as I call him, Shakey.

dreams that men dream

The traditions passed down through the ages.
The passing of time,
The dreams that men dream.
They are all ineveitable.
As long as men continue to pursue greatness,
these things will exist forever!

- One Piece

... of conflicts

What are conflicts? We see them all the time. It's almost everywhere in every way. Politics, backstabbing, hate and pretend faces. But... should I have that little faith in people?

I'll start by saying what I want to believe. I want to believe that everyone does not in any intention to cause anyone else trouble. I cannot imagine being thought as the 'sabotager', but not realise that I had even in the mind to try to be so. So, surely the person that I have thought to have backstabbed me may not have intended so.

Ever so often have I encountered people who actually thought I'm trying to "play games" behind them, and believe me, I was shocked that I stood stunned for the next few minutes. "No! Never!" was I all I could cry out in my heart.

Perhaps I was given a gift to see things simple, or simply my esteem disallowed my anger, that I know that whatever unfortunate happens, there's always a reason. let me illustrate...

1) That guy cut queue in front of me, and made me unable to board the bus. Sure, he could have been just damned selfish. Hey, maybe he needs to get to the hospital fast to see his relative in the hospital.

2) My friend complained that his boss dumped him a pile of work just before he could go for his 1 month holiday, thus the boss dispises him. Sure, the boss could be damn biased. Hey, maybe the boss' boss is the ass here.

3) That guy backstabbed me again! I do a better work than you! That no good piece of crap! Sure, he could be just plain evil. Hey, maybe he's just plain scared of undermining my work, and asked someone to help provide suggestion to my work.

Yah, what are the chances? But remember there is always a reason of some sort. You know how it is, that sometimes when you chat with someone, and it ends up in sudden akward silence. I'm saying that somehow, bad circumstances land ourselves in discontent, and suddenly suspicion arises.

Also remember that our suspicion comes from lack-of- or mis-understanding. Would you suspect your best friend if he told you your work sucked? Of course not. Let not our short period of knowing a person control our logic.

But then, if you're sure that that particular person is just plain evil, go ahead and hate him. I'd probably hate him with you. Bwahahah.... (6)

I've been lucky I guess. The video unit I worked in had politics, but usually a unspoken consesus. Any conflicts happen b4? No! Because everyone could find someone to talk to in the department, and find out that their discontent actually came from a bad situation that befell the department. (DiTV, you rock.)

Now, having joined JSS, I realised that there were more issues than I could thought could be. Wished I had more time to understand it too. But one thing's for sure, I could be sure that the next generation has the ability to handle future ones. I stand witness the rapport, and know that we can be really open to one another. There is only a flight of soaring heights for the club.

... of a nation's birthday.

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!!

It's not everytime I'll have a comment on the National Day Parade, but this year's performances were exceptionally well done. I do not think highly of the ones before, and perhaps that provided me a great relief that there is still an anticipation for the next NDP.

A word before I start, though (for the purpose of wanting to end on a high note). Why does a nation display weapons on its birthday? While I can understand the innocent enjoyment of seeing military equipment that some could never see and get closer to again, I am constant bugged by the pessimisstic underlying motive of display.

The stand circular stand served as a central attention for certain parts of the importance, and the lights equipped around was well made used of for colours and patterns. Very smooth.

Long enough pre-performance took to parade, and quickly I was soothed by Act I of the performance. A simple, yet elegant enough animation brought in the introduction of the naming of our island, Singapura. Then onto the stage. The children played particularly well the roles of a variety of creatures, which included birds, squrriels, butterflies and elves (give them the asethetic praise, pls. hehe). Colourful and somewhat sweet was the key, and was a welcome change to the concept of majesty. Or so I thought, till a statue of a lion, standing over the awe of all. As Sang Nila Utama set foot on the island and breathed the word "Singapura", the fantastic music arrangement illustrated the echoing of the word, till it reaches the perfect harmony throughout the island. A high for end of the act.

Second act was dubbed "40 years of Nation Building", which continued to demostrate the fantastic music arrangement. Old, familiar tunes thrown into the whirl of our favourites - banghra beat, retro, futuristic fx-es etc. Along with the thrid act, was the perfect mix of the races. Heck! Why are we still stopping at 4 main races, when we are already the most globalised nation? Performers included people non-Singaporeans, which I thought was rather delighted about. For the third time, perfect.

For a man who believes in dreams, I do believe that we are a people. Big hopes, big dreams. Man, we're damn big for a small red dot.

... of heroes

I'm gonna share a secret about guys. And I'm not even supposed to tell you this.

You know when guys read comics, or watch superheroes (be it in movies or cartoons), they can't help but place themselves in those shoes. "What would it be like? What would they do? When will I have the glory?" You know, that sort of questions. Now, these are not fantasies. These are options.

Right, and you girls wonder why men often act tough, play games that "save the world" and do sports and go to gyms.

But can we really help it? Just look at Spiderman. Almost everyone can relate to him, his school life and love life. Just look at number of things we have in common. There's only one difference between me and Peter Parker. That means I'm only one step to being a superhero!

Yeah, considering all you are short of is a radioactive spider to bite you.

Now, don't go passing on careless judgements on men. (That's my privilege.) And no, I ain't quipping no gender jokes. I'm just gonna say that this phenomenon is a good thing. I mean, isn't it nice to have someone who is strong, dependable, always there for you at the right time when you need them, and always protecting you? That's what superheroes are, and what men strive to achieve.

Maybe it's just a society pressure on how a man should act. Nevertheless, it is still what men want, be it for themselves or for someone. We want to protect what or who we love. We want to be strong. We want to be able to do everything possible for the one we love.

What about our female counterparts? Well, I dun noe. I ain't no women. But don't compare them with others, let alone heroines. Compare us not with heroes too.

... of promises

"Broken promises. How can you handle it?
Broken again and again.
It's once too many, no matter who and what their breaking point may be.
Broken promises. Broken... you?"

What age am I living in? In one which I have so much expectations for, to have people flimsily say what they don't mean is a shock. This isn't the old Japanese society where everyone doesn't speak what they mean. This isn't some business deal where you are trying to get the best deal. We're talking about relationships. Relationship between friends, couples, and every conceivable human link. A relationship of trust.

Smirk, for the lead character has be misled by the villain in the movie again. That's what these unfeeling entities of the devil do. Smirk. As the rest of us frown upon the coming demise of the lead, we are being stabbed by their cold smile, reflecting the look of the villian off the screen.

Yet, there comes a point where a corner of your mind echoes, "Hey, everyone's breaking promises they made to me... What's wrong with me?" As we begin to doubt others, we have that we begin to reject our very being. A deep drum pound for the strong. A glass shatter for the low-esteemed.

Stop it! There's nothing wrong with anybody! There isn't anything wrong with the promise breakers, and certainly nothing wrong with you. Why are promises broken is because people's tendency to forget. Excuses? No, it's what I choose to believe. ANYWAY, it is true. A childhood promise is a simple example. Can you really blame people for forgetting a thing years past? Sure it's sweet to remember, but over the years it could have been stacked below many other memories. Not gone. Just forgotten.

Do not forget. And that's the best we can do. Keep one thing in mind, if breaking promises shows what they are, and if you do, what does that say about you?