... of insight into an otaku's mind

"The world, the place where you live in, is a sick place."
- Christof, The Truman Show

I just wrote 2 mails. I sent neither. They were hate-mails, nothing more than complains towards the persons.

The more I wrote, the more I hated myself, hated the things that had happened to me, hated the way I reacted in situations. I realised how weak I was, how the world around me thinks, how I thought I was losing my mind.

I disliked how the world thinks. It looked down on individuals like me. Hundreds of pple I've met, 50% judged me on first sight, 35% gave up on me, 10% continues to pretend to be a friend, 5% wavers, with a measly less than 1% I want to believe they truly are friends.

I had escaped this world by seeking my own. Never had I found such comfort in the otaku world. The perfect world of falsity without contemplating what flaws I had. Acceptance without question. It's disconcerting because it's not reality. But I don't care. The real world, the place we are doomed to live in, is a sick place. There is no more truth in that world, than this world that is created in for me.

I belong here.